Welcome June..


Hello.. apa kabar? Sekitar sebulan lalu, rasanya hidup overwhelming banget. Selain pekerjaan yang bertumpuk luar biasa, saya juga mengalami miscarriage. Saya juga nggak tahu kenapa saya mesti share personal story ini, tapi rasanya I need to let it out from my system.

Miscarriage ini terasa menyesakkan buatku  Saya jadi betul-betul stres, dan seringkali ditambahi perasaan menyalahkan diri sendiri mengingat saya dan suami sudah lama merindukan momongan. I feel sad the most, because even during my miscarriage period, I should be back for business the day after. Not because I am trying to be tough or whatever, but because someone else's life  also relied on me and I did not have anyone to delegate that matter. I do not even have the time to digest what happened until later. Untunglah, suami orangnya sangat sabar dan selalu menguatkan. Bersyukur sekali saya tidak perlu tindakan kuretase dan di satu sisi, saya bersyukur banget kami masih diberi kesempatan untuk mengalami konsepsi.

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

Lalu saya ngebaca salah satu artikel yang menarik di TinyBuddha. Artikel ini awalnya hanya asal-asalan saya baca, tapi.. ternyata pas aku liat paragraf pertamanya kok ngena banget yah. Here's part of the article:

(1) Begin your day with love- not technology. Jujur aja, buka mata saya langsung nyari ponsel. Kali ini saya ganti dengan segelas air putih. Ponsel masih dicari tapi hanya untuk cek adakah  update pasien, emergency text/call yang tidak terangkat . Saat ini, ponsel saya pakai untuk menulis Gratitude Journal di pagi hari.
(2) make time for gratitude. Be thankful, for relationship, possesions, nature, even yourself!
(3) talk yourself happy. Hey girl! Stop beating yourself up just for 5 minutes and talk something cheerful to yourself, especially when you are stuck in a rut.
(4) be emotionally honest. Kalau sedih, just feel it. Kalau senang, enjoy it too. Kadang kita ngehindariin emosi-terutama yang negatif (sedih, marah, kecewa dll)  dengan tindakan-tindakan lain: makan berlebihan, shopping gak terkontrol, nangis terus-menerus. It is HUMANE that people avoid negative feeling. However, let's your true feeling show and learn to deal MINDFULLY with uncomfortable feeling.
(5) enjoy life enhancing activities. For me, it's walking. If I can't walk in the park, I make a little effort of walking arounf hospital/malls/home. How about you? make the littlest effort everyday to enjoy activity that you like.
(6) become willing to surrender. Aka, ikhlas.
(7) be patient with yourself. Do your best, let go of your fear, rubah "strive" menjadi "thrive". Good luck!
(8) do what honors and respect you
(9) accept uncertainty
(10) be real. Be yourself. Allow yourself to be heard and seen
(11) imagine what your life look like if you believe in your worth. Dedicate your life loving you and you love your life!

Make a tiny change and continue it on a daily basis.. Hopefully, on June my life could be much better! Have a great day dear friend..



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