Welcome June..

Hello.. apa kabar? Sekitar sebulan lalu, rasanya hidup overwhelming banget. Selain pekerjaan yang bertumpuk luar biasa, saya juga mengalami miscarriage. Saya juga nggak tahu kenapa saya mesti share personal story ini, tapi rasanya I need to let it out from my system.

Miscarriage ini terasa menyesakkan buatku  Saya jadi betul-betul stres, dan seringkali ditambahi perasaan menyalahkan diri sendiri mengingat saya dan suami sudah lama merindukan momongan. I feel sad the most, because even during my miscarriage period, I should be back for business the day after. Not because I am trying to be tough or whatever, but because someone else's life  also relied on me and I did not have anyone to delegate that matter. I do not even have the time to digest what happened until later. Untunglah, suami orangnya sangat sabar dan selalu menguatkan. Bersyukur sekali saya tidak perlu tindakan kuretase dan di satu sisi, saya bersyukur banget kami masih diberi kesempatan untuk mengalami konsepsi.

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

Lalu saya ngebaca salah satu artikel yang menarik di TinyBuddha. Artikel ini awalnya hanya asal-asalan saya baca, tapi.. ternyata pas aku liat paragraf pertamanya kok ngena banget yah. Here's part of the article:

(1) Begin your day with love- not technology. Jujur aja, buka mata saya langsung nyari ponsel. Kali ini saya ganti dengan segelas air putih. Ponsel masih dicari tapi hanya untuk cek adakah  update pasien, emergency text/call yang tidak terangkat . Saat ini, ponsel saya pakai untuk menulis Gratitude Journal di pagi hari.
(2) make time for gratitude. Be thankful, for relationship, possesions, nature, even yourself!
(3) talk yourself happy. Hey girl! Stop beating yourself up just for 5 minutes and talk something cheerful to yourself, especially when you are stuck in a rut.
(4) be emotionally honest. Kalau sedih, just feel it. Kalau senang, enjoy it too. Kadang kita ngehindariin emosi-terutama yang negatif (sedih, marah, kecewa dll)  dengan tindakan-tindakan lain: makan berlebihan, shopping gak terkontrol, nangis terus-menerus. It is HUMANE that people avoid negative feeling. However, let's your true feeling show and learn to deal MINDFULLY with uncomfortable feeling.
(5) enjoy life enhancing activities. For me, it's walking. If I can't walk in the park, I make a little effort of walking arounf hospital/malls/home. How about you? make the littlest effort everyday to enjoy activity that you like.
(6) become willing to surrender. Aka, ikhlas.
(7) be patient with yourself. Do your best, let go of your fear, rubah "strive" menjadi "thrive". Good luck!
(8) do what honors and respect you
(9) accept uncertainty
(10) be real. Be yourself. Allow yourself to be heard and seen
(11) imagine what your life look like if you believe in your worth. Dedicate your life loving you and you love your life!

Make a tiny change and continue it on a daily basis.. Hopefully, on June my life could be much better! Have a great day dear friend..

the Burnout Antidote

Hello.. Kali ini aku akan nulis rada off topic yaitu soal  manajemen waktu. Sebagai orang yang lebih sering tidak bisa diprediksi waktu kerja nya (yup, saya bisa 36 jam on duty..), kadang rasanya susah banget bagi waktu untuk membuat prioritas pekerjaan dan biasanya rencana yang udah dibikin jadi berubah. Well, kadang supaya nggak kerasa burn out, I should step back and review my schedule. Here's my takes:

1: Write down what you need to do today
Dengan bikin list, gw lebih sadar apa aja yang mesti diselesaikan hari ini. Biasanya list ini gw bikin di ponsel pagi-pagi sebelum berangkat kerja.

2: Grab your hobby during free time
Berhubung gw bukan tipe orang yang gak gitu suka kumpul-kumpul pas free time- jadi waktu ini gw batasi hehehe.  Buat saya kalau hari kerja kumpul sama teman-teman 1/2 jam sampai seam cukup kok. Longer than that? I think I can do something more productive with my time: nyatet resep, edit tulisan, edit foto dsb. Selain itu, waktu di rumah jadi lebih santai karena "hobby related works" sudah dikerjakan di kantor,

3: Bikin review tiap bulannya
Review bulanan keep me on track. Biasanya yang gw bikin adalah resume pekerjaan yang dilakukan dan pendapatan/income.  Also think about approximate time spent at office! Does work x time = satisfaction x income?

4: Take a break for yourself
AMBIL mini-rehat dan cuti. Buat saya, motret 30 menit sehari, jalan kaki 30 menit biasanya cukup relaxing.  Sesekali, berlibur dan melakukan hal yang beda juga sangat menyegarkan. Think of experience rather than splurging.


So, what's your burnout antidote? au revoir for now..

Back to blogger & things

Beside being a medical worker, I do have passion for beauty & cooking - well the domestic hipster kind of stuff. For times, I switch forth and back writing in blogger and wordpress, and I decided to switch back to blogger. It's simply because blogger is free, and I have more control on the outlook. And I think blogger does not randomly place ads like wordpress did on my previous blog!

Some beauty blog has really nice photographs -which I loovveee..- such as scribblesofvalerie.com, and some blogs are pretty strong for beauty ingredients analysis. I hope by writing beauty review I could give a good and coherent buying guide (even though I am still learning myself!), but it takes a lot of discipline to make things work.  Why? Blogger does not integrate very well with my phone, and I must use my iPad to make my postings, so I have to spare some time each week. However, this blogger layout, force  me to do more photographs by myself, which is a huge plus,  to be put on the grid view display. 

Discipline, discipline, discipline.

Well, I guess this is my passion, and passion without proficiency will go wasted. So.. this is what I do..